Hey everyone! It has been a while since I've posted, so I figured I would jump on here and kind of share what we have been living for the past 2 years. I know more people than just myself tend to get discouraged and flustered when things just don't seem to go as they should. So incase you don't understand the title, unplanned plans is the way life unfolds and goes completely against the way you had planned.
To kind of explain what I mean, I will give you a little of our back story of whats been going on. I think I explained how my most amazing guy, Steve and I met in the last post. Fast-forward to now. We have known each other for over 2 years now! Shortly after meeting we knew we wanted to spend our lives together. So, I thought for sure we would be married withing a year, at the most maybe a year and a half. Well guess what? It has now been TWO years later, and we are still not married. This is not because we don't want to be together, or have some relationship issues. With any other kind of relationship, getting married is not a big deal. You get engaged, set the date and you're married. Sometimes you may have a few bumps as any relationship does, but still it's relatively smooth. Well insert the army, and you have a whole different set of problems. We have had many (counting on leave being approved so we could be engaged) tentative wedding dates only to be disappointed when leave was lost, or was never turned in by those higher up. In the 2 years I have known Steve, he has had 1 leave approved in 24 months, and that one came a few months after we had first met. We really need leave to be approved so we can get engaged, and please don't suggest Skype. ;) We are very sentimental people, and believe God will eventually allow leave or some other means to go through, for this first step to happen. As hard as waiting is, we want our engagement to be special. (We are currently shooting for Oct-Nov leave, so please pray with us!!!) I am not saying all this to make anyone feel sorry for us, Steve is THE BEST thing that has ever happened (after my salvation) in my life. He completes me even from 600 miles away, I can't wait to one day be together!!! He is so worth the wait! :) Our story is a lot easier compared to others I'm sure, but it just proves how so far my life has gone the unplanned plan route.
I thought the hardest part was being single and waiting for Mr. Right to come along, but having to continually wait to be with Mr Right when you so, so, SO want to be together, is a close tie. Expecially when you have to watch others get married, have babies, and even some get engaged twice! I tend to occasionally get worried and discouraged a bit, but when I do Steve lets me talk it all out (which can take a while ;)) and then he brings me down to being reasonable and calm once again. He's pretty amazing! :)
There is usually one reason I become worried and somewhat panic-y, and that is comparison! The Bible warns us of doing this:
2 Corinthians 10:12 "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."
I have to constantly remind myself that I am not in a race with my friends to see who gets married first, has a baby first or any thing like that. The Lord wrote our own life stories specifically for us, knowing what we could each handle, and what would bring Him the most glory. I don't always understand why at 26 I am not married yet, but I do know more than anything else that God loves me, and He is not doing this TO me to be mean, but for a reason I just don't see. Being in a certain place in life does not make you any better or worse than the next person.
When I get discouraged about where I am in life, compared to where I THINK I should be, these are the things I try to decide I will do.
~ Be thankful.
I'm sure many of us have seen the quote, but it is so true. There are those who are praying for what you have. If we can't trust God and be thankful for what God has already blessed us with, how can we expect God to give us more. I try to list in my mind all that I have to be thankful for. God is so very very good to us. We have no reason to complain about anything!
~ Not compare.
I will remember God is the perfect Author. His story books aren't like any other books, where I can go to the last chapter or so and read the ending to see if I'll like the book before I go through the trouble of reading it.(I'm bad, I know!) His is a real life book. You can't read any farther than the exact page you are on. You just trust this Author loves you, and knows what you want but also knows what is best for you. Trust Him until you get to read (live) the next pages. Don't insult the Author by inserting what you see someone else is doing, because likely it won't turn out the same, and you never want to make this One mad. We all want our ending to be beautiful!
~ Change my attitude.
Our attitude will reflect how we look at things. If we are mad or sad, everything we see or do will be negative. It is never okay to have a bad attitude, and allow our actions to affect others. The Bible tells us over and over we are not to be controlled by our emotions, because they can change so quicly and usually are not even rational.
Proverbs 28:26 "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered."
Proverbs 16:32 "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."
The poor people around us, especially our boyfriends/husbands/fiances, family members, and even those who have the misfortune to run into us in the store have to deal with so much because so many of us girls/ladies have not yet learned how to handle our emotions. This is one of the things I try to work so hard on, not allowing my emotions dictate how I act. I hate the idea that girls are allowed to be grouches because they are just emotional. God tells us numerous times how we can fix this, it just requires us recognizing it and working on it. I'm not saying that we don't all have bad days, I have them as well, but my bad day doesn't have to make someone else have a bad day too. We must learn how to act like we have a merry heart, until we do.
Proverbs 15:13 "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."
Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones."
Lastly, when you are emotional begin to think of the things that Philippians 4:8 tell us to do, look at the things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report. I had to do this just today when I began to get a little down by a few things, and I was amazed at how well this worked!
***I'm not sure where all my readers are in life, but I'm going to guess that there are many others who's lives didn't go as planned. These are some of the things that helped and still continue to help me, even up until today, and I hope that maybe some of them will help someone else to realize that God's plans are SO much better than our plans. I have yet to see how God will unfold things in our lives, with us getting engaged, married and then changes in life after that, but I do know that I want His plans, and I will gladly live the unplanned plans!
What are some things that help you? :)