As a 20 something year old girl, I get asked many times weekly am I dating, married, or interested in someone. Which I don't mind at all, it's a typical question, but without a doubt when the answer is no, I am given MANY options that I should think about doing because I surely should be married by now. Some of them include going to college to get that MRS degree, maybe I should lower my standards of who I am looking for, I just am not looking in the right places, and the list goes on and on. Most the time when asked or mainly told what I should be doing, I just smile, nod and change the subject because quite honestly I get tired of 'defending' my stand and my status in life. I am sure many single girls/guys have some of these same questions or comments made to them. So I am going to 'answer' some of these statements made to me, because I know some of my single buddies out there are asked these same questions. Maybe in those times when you just feel so lonely, some of these will help to put things back into perspective.
Why don't you go to college to get that MRS degree?
- This answer will vary for each individual, but this is MY answer. Being raised in a Christian home, I have only wanted to do 1 thing with my life from a very young age- serve the Lord with my life. I was trained to be a Wife, Mom and a Servant of the Lord in my home. Well, for those who don't know me I am heavily involved in my church. Some of the things I am involved in is playing the piano for some services and groups, cleaning the church, nursery duty, teaching Sunday School, working on the bus and a few other things. I AM doing what I have always wanted to do - serving the Lord. For me personally, I do not believe God needs my 'help' to find my husband by going to college. In my opinion going to college for me would be going backwards. You go to college to help you in serving the Lord in whatever capacity the Lord leads, but I am already serving the Lord where I am now. The biggest reason is I have no leading from the Lord to go to any college, but simply to keep serving where He has placed me.
You will never find a guy with your standards.
- Quite frankly I am not looking for just any guy. I would rather not marry at all then find someone who I would have to lower my standards for. I'm not talking about opinions or preferences, I'm referring to those convictions and standards that are Biblically based, and Holy Spirit led. I believe there is a guy out there who has just as high or higher standards than I have, who I will one day complete. I set my standards long ago, and they are not an option any longer.
You are not looking in the right places.
- When I get these statements, I never really ask where I should be looking. I don't think I really want to know! Where else would I look for someone who loves God and wants to serve Him? He will be around what He loves - the Church or functions of the church. I'm not necessarily saying He will be waiting at church for me, the Lord can use any avenue to bring him across my path. You would go to a zoo to find a bunch of animals, to Fenway Park to find the Boston Red Sox (GO BOSTON!!), so why wouldn't I expect to find my husband in church, or at a Church Conference? Those who love the Lord, will be around the things that please the Lord.
~ When asked these questions and many others, it's easy to let others who are panicked about your singleness affect your spirit and your trust in God. Don't let others make you stress. Sometimes when I get these comments I want to ask them, "Do you think that question or comment helped me at all?" "Did it have a positive affect on me?" Don't worry my single friends! Do you not think this is in Gods plan? That maybe He looks down and says, "Oh I forgot to create her/him a spouse!" Certainly not, Gods timetable is not mine or yours. He did not make a mistake, He is not worried everything is going according to HIS plan! As Valentines Day or Heart Day is coming up, this can be a hard day if you don't have that special someone, but don't let it be! Make someone else's day special, there's a chance there is someone else out there who just lost a spouse or maybe is feeling just the way you are. Get your eyes off of yourself, you will ALWAYS be miserable if your focus is yourself, find somebody else and make their day special. The purpose of our lives is not marriage, it is to glorify God in whatever we do! Don't let the Devil use your weakness, or someone else's tongue to get you off track.
Wherever God has placed you today, whatever He has called you to do, do it! Maybe it's working a job in the world, going to college, or serving somewhere in your church/school. Focus on the job the Lord has placed you in and do it to glorify Him. People are still people, and those times will come when those stinging comments will be made, but don't let the Devil use that to make you become desperate and settle for something that God never intended to be yours. WAIT for who HE has planned for you. As my Mom tells me in her 'pep talks' to me, 'It will be absolutely gorgeous, and better than you could have ever dreamed!'
Don't stop believing, don't stop praying, and don't stop looking. Don't panic and don't let anyone tell you that you are running out of time. When the time is right you will find him/her and it will be a picture of the Lord and His bride; the prettiest picture that could EVER be!!
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.