This post is going to be mainly for my single friends once again. I don't know about any of you, but most of my advice from others comes from those who are already married. I so cherish and soak in the advice I get, but the advice that helps me the most is from people who are single. There's nothing like talking to someone who is going through the same thing, and knows what we experience from day to day, as it is with any situation in life! I'm going to ask a couple of questions, think seriously about them and answer them. How will you know when you find that significant other? Will it be a look, feeling or some other idea? Who or what helps you determine this is the person? Are there certain characteristics you are looking for? These are all really important questions that will help you determine what your future will be!
I personally believe (in the realm of God's will for me to marry) that there is only one guy out there for me! Not a choice of which one I like best, but a guy God made specifically for me, and made me specifically for him! It is not a choice to be taken lightly, but is a choice that will determine my future. This is not as simple as choosing which outfit to wear today, but what man can I love and be a helpmeet to, for the rest of my life. Once the decision is made in front of God, it can never be changed before God. So what helps govern whom we choose? As I believe in everything God has a way this should be done decently and in order. As so many have done before me, I encourage you to sit down and make a list of rules, guidelines, requirements or whatever you want to call them, for your future spouse. Pray about this list and ask God if there should be any additions to this list. Then follow these!!! This list is not preferences, but rules for you to follow throughout the relationship from the beginning to the end, and also requirements for the significant other you are looking for - these are things he/she must have. These things will define his/her character. I'm going to open my mind and kind of share a few of mine and my thoughts about them! These may seem very small, but each of us is accountable for who we choose to marry, and these three are very important to me! :)
1. Spiritual Maturity
I must see God throughout his life. Not just a guy who talks about God, but a guy who is focused on pleasing God will have the hand of God evident throughout his life. I won't have to wonder if he loves God, it will be evident. I'm not talking about him being a spiritual giant, but simply loves the Lord and is concerned about displeasing Him. I would expect him to be looking for the same thing in me! I'm sure most have heard this quote that I'm about to type, but this is truly one of my "requirements" for the guy. "A womans heart should be so focused on God, that a man would have to seek Him in order to find her." I truly believe that if I'm focused on God, He will bring this man along in His time!
2. No Initiating
This one is obviously a rule for myself, and this is actually one that has caught me recently. Initiate means "to cause to begin." I get so tired of seeing girls chasing guys, it should be the other way around. If the guy is interested in you, he will seek you out, instead of making you chase him. Within the past month or so I thought about a certain guy, and asked in my heart, "Lord is it him?" To which in His still small voice He answered, "Did he initiate it?" There was my answer. No it was not His will, at least for now! IT IS NOT THE LADIES JOB TO BEGIN A RELATIONSHIP! If the guy is crazy about you and is who God has for you, then he will make the first move....if he doesn't let him go, he's not worth it! He is not God's will for you. Anytime a woman initiates things it ends bad. Eve initiated the eating of the fruit, and caused Adam to sin....this ended badly. She initiated. He responded. Sin, sorrow and death were the result. God gave the man the responsibility to do the finding as seen in Proverbs.
Proverbs 18:22
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord."
3. Roaming Eyes
Hopefully if the first two are met, then this won't be a problem. Still it bugs me enough that I have made it a requirement. Girls, you should not feel flattered if another guy is with another lady and is 'checking you out'. You should feel outraged for the other girl!! If you steal a guy like this, he will do the exact same thing when he is with you. He has a serious problem that getting married to him certainly won't fix. This can go for guys or girls, but from my experience it seems to be more of a guy issue than a girl.
**These are only a few of my guidelines I use in "selecting" my future spouse. Yes we are "selecting" our future spouses. Selecting is defined as to carefully choose as being the best or most suitable. Don't ever give into the worlds philosophy that you must be desperate if you reach a certain age and are not serious with someone. This is just one of the Devils lies he will feed you, if you will believe him, in hopes we will grab the next guy or girl we see and quite possibly destroy a beautiful future the Lord has planned for us!! Many before us have and are destroying their lives on the altar of having someone.
**Girls especially, guard your heart. Never allow your heart to have any part of the decision making until you have checked the guy over with your guidelines. As the Bible says, if your heart gets the chance it will deceive you. Proverbs 28:26 "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered." Given the chance your heart will tell you how unimportant all these guidelines and requirements are!
**I don't know about you, but I am choosing to one day walk down the aisle with the man of my dreams.....because he will be exactly the guy God created especially for me.
***Maybe some of you married or single have certain things you were looking for, or rules for yourself throughout your relationship. I would love to hear some of them. Comment below, if you want to share and they are personal I will not publish them, but I always enjoy hearing others who are just as choosy about who their spouse is! :)
Beautifully said Jess!
ReplyDeleteWell said, and exactly too!!
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